Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Game Rant - Darksiders

Today, I moved offices. I would write about that, but I haven't yet had time to collect my thoughts about the new office and such just yet, so I shall save that one for tomorrow.

Instead, I'll be making the first of (probably) many rants about videogames - starting with one I finished about a month or two ago - Darksiders.

I realise it's quite late (after the release of the game anyways), but meh. I bought it when it was around $50, and then played it a few months after due to trying to catch up on my (admittedly ridiculously huge) backlog.

Most people liken it to God of War. Apparently if you like God of War, you'll like Darksiders. I don't mind a bit of God of War. Admittedly it can get a little tiresome (particularly if you make the same mistake I did, and play all 3 games in a row), but its a generally enjoyable series, if you can deal with the fact that no matter how they try to sugar coat, Kratos is an evil, psychotic bastard and you are out to destroy the world under a vague pretext of revenge.

I didn't enjoy Darksiders.

Oh sure, it was fun for the first few minutes. Before I got into my first battle, and learned that the battle system consisted of "Mash square. Mash square some more. Mash square a lot. Eventually, things will die. Don't touch any other button, they won't attack. Quick, mash square!"

After a while, you gain the ability to use secondary weapons. The battle system then becomes "Mash square. Mash triangle a few times to try your new weapon. Oh, your new weapon sucks? Mash square! Mash square a lot! Quick, hold triangle to charge up a useless attack, purely because you can't continue until you use this weapon to destroy the thing that's in your way! Now slam square a few times so you don't die!"

I thought I was being a bit unfair to it. What was I missing? So I continued the game. Besides, I have a backlog to complete, and Darksiders was on it.

So, I was tasked with killing four super powerful demons and bringing their hearts to the demon Samael in return for passage to some huge tower, which I needed to get to in order to gain vengeance against somebody for starting the final war between Heaven and Hell too soon, which got the main dude War (as in, the Horseman of the freakin' Apocalypse War) into trouble from some seemingly all-powerful Council.

Confused yet? I sure as hell was. I also didn't care.

And wasn't Samael the demon responsible for ALL the crazy stuff going on in Silent Hill? Somehow, helping him get more powerful seems like a bad idea...

*WARNING - Spoilers ahead - read the following at your own risk*

So I returned these hearts to him. He then tells me that the tower was never locked, that the four guardians were never actually preventing me from just walking over to the tower and opening the door. 75% of the game is arbitrary, boring questing for no reason other than somebody thought it was a good idea.

This angered me.

Eventually, I finished the game, to an ending which, apart from being ridiculously unsatisfying, reeked of "there's a sequel coming!". A sequel which I hope never poisons any of my consoles.

Also, the God of War comparison is grossly inaccurate. Sure, it has brutality, and square is an attack button, but thats where the similarities end. IMO, the game is closer to a Legend of Zelda game than anything. Though it replaces the typically semi-interesting plot with this Heaven and Hell stuff, and the hero with something overly intricate, and no personality apart from generic rage.

Sure, he's supposed to be War, but surely he can be at least more than a paper cutout personality? No? Okay, fine, be like that.

I rarely trash the story of an action game. They're not the point of an action game. Hell, look at the Devil May Cry series (conveniently ignoring the nonexistent DMC2), Bayonetta, Painkiller, Serious Sam etc. Ridiculous stories, which are utterly disposable, but fun gameplay.

It's a shame that Darksiders couldn't deliver on the "fun" part.

As for my backlog, it keeps increasing quicker than I can decrease it. Resubscribing to WoW for Cataclysm was probably a really, really bad idea.

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