This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things

For some reason, being a gamer in Australia is terrible. We rarely get our game releases on time (though game companies are getting better with this - and in some cases we beat America to the punch). We get anything that has anything remotely controversial banned (well, refused classification which is effectively the same), and there are plenty of games which flat out never get released over here - leaving me with little option but to import.

Let's start with the most angernating one - banned games for stupid reasons. Or at the very least, inconsistent reasons. The most recent and stupid one is a (apparently) temporary ban of Dead Or Alive: Dimensions for the Nintendo 3DS. This is a fighting game with no blood or gore, from a successful series which has had no trouble having games released here before, so why now?
Well, according to our politicians, it contains child porn. I shit you not.
And what causes this concern? Well, 3 characters are under 18. This, in itself does not make child porn, not even our pollies are that stupid, right?
No, the game has a photography mode, where you can look at the characters in various outfits and poses. And you are able to look up the skirts/dresses of said underage female characters. Apparently, this constitutes child porn. Note that these same characters were wearing string bikini's (which leave nothing to the imagination) and pole dancing in Dead or Alive Beach Volleyball. Yet somehow, the ability to see up their skirts in a photo mode is too far. Not just a stupid ban, but inconsistent with itself.

This is not the first time the ratings board has refused to classify a game for stupid reasons entirely inconsistent with itself. Fallout 3 had a large issue in Australia with the fact that the health kits were called "Morphine" - apparently having a positive effect from a drug is a bad thing. Because, you know, morphine is such a bad drug. In the end, to avoid arguing with stupid people, the devs renamed it to Stimpacks. For everyone in the world. Australia's dumn politicians caused the game to be changed for everyone. While it is a tiny and inconsequential change, the implications are huge.
Not to mention that they were fine with Bioshock showing a graphical representation of your character constantly shooting himself up with a  mystery liquid, which enabled the player to shoot lightning from his hands (among other things). I don't know about you, but the ability to fire lightning at will as a result of using a drug seems like a positive effect from a drug!

Random mystery drug - more legal than morphine apparently

Mortal Kombat (the recent edition) was flat out banned due to violence. I imported the game (at risk of it being seized at the border and a fine of up to $110 000 - I shit you not), and found the exact reason why it was banned in Australia. It is an extremely brutal game, full of decapitations, bone breaking and evisceration.
I seem to recall there being no difficulties with Splatterhouse (again, the recent edition) being released in Australia. That game, while I have not played it, also seems super brutal. Some of the videos I saw of it showed some utterly disgusting things!

This is, of course, largely caused by our lack of R18+ rating for games - something which we have been working towards, but seemingly making no progress in. I'm not going to talk more about this issue since it gets political and I hate politics.

Another issue with gaming in Australia is the price markup. Look on any game shop on America. The typical price of a new release is $50 - $60 US. We have a strong Australian dollar at the moment, the last I checked it was worth more than the US. So why do we consider $80 cheap for a new release? I can understand the GST affecting it, but that's 10%. Last I checked, $80 is not 10% more than $50. I see no reason to not import every game that I want, apart from the instant gratification, preowned cheapness, and region encoding (which is becoming less of a problem).

Add to this the host of games that are never released here. For example, I have NEVER seen a Persona game in the shops in Australia. A friend of mine did find a couple, and when I mentioned that they are supposedly good, he snapped them up. However, to this day, I still haven't seen one in the shops here. Not to mention that by all accounts via Internet searching, Catherine, a game I'm looking forward to, does not seem to have any data related to a local release. Another game that I'll have to import (and will do so happily - it'd be cheaper like that anyway).

Yes, it's a strange cover. It's a strange game.

This aside, they won't stop me from gaming. It's what I do!

On a related note, my Backloggery page has been set up, and is in full swing showing off the 300 or so games I have yet to finish. I really didn't realise it was as bad as it is until I filled them out. Take a look if you wish, my backlog link now takes you to that page.
Even better, create your own account and friend me on it! We can compare lists :P